Going to the babysitter

“Men makes plans but God decides”

I remember a saying like that, which shows how unpredictable life can be.

I was all happy when the confinement lady said that she’d stay on as a helper (and cook).

For the past two months, I had been hunting high and low for a domestic helper (not stay-in as there is NO room at our place already) and got rejected about 6 times that I gave up.

Since she’s coming in 2 weeks’ time, we all gritted our teeth and got down to do all the work that’s needed as best as we could.

One morning at the market, she called my Mum and said,

“Please tell your daughter I’m sorry. I’m so busy with Chinese New Year preparations because my children are coming home – I don’t think I can help her. I will help her to look for a helper.”

She was our last hope. Both of us were puzzled at her change of mind (I guess she’s hoping I was that desperate that I’d offer the confinement rate again!).

I called her to confirm this – I was even too tired to get angry with her. And I resigned myself to the fact that I will have to remain a full-time “stay-at-home Mother” for a few more months.

Then, Giddy Tigress sent me an excited email about a babysitter her babysitter recommended!

I personally prefer a daycare center but I thought I’d give her a chance. She turned out to be a gentle and youthful-looking 55 year old lady (whose husband goes to the market and cooks – wow!).

After a visit and an interview, I decided to try her out. At least I’d have a back-up in case I need it and if I needed to attend meetings etc, I’d be assured of my baby being taken good care of.

However, when it came to packing her things, I felt so, so, so sad! It was even worse when I brought her to the babysitter’s place and talked to her about her habits etc 🙁

The babysitter could sense my sadness and she tried to cheer me up saying that my baby was going to be with her for about 6 hours. I was still going to have her at night and weekends.

Still, it’s hard to part with this little cutie who flashes a big smile, squawks knowingly and kicks her arms and legs excitedly when she knows she’s going to be breastfed…

I was quite teary when I left her place but I told myself I had to be strong. My challenge now will be to be able to pump out enough breast milk for her to drink!

(She had to take formula which is a mix of Enfalac and Lactogen completely today. I’m worried she’s allergic like her brother because her poo seems runny)

I had a stressful morning dropping off one kid after another because the preschooler wasn’t happy his sister is going to Auntie’s place. He’d actually asked me quietly in the car,

“What are you doing with the baby?”

When we reach the kindy, he REFUSED to get down from the car because he wanted to go to the Auntie’s house too. Aargh! I was so stressed because the baby started crying because the car was stationary.

The kindy teacher had to help haul the boy (crying) out of the car sigh, sigh sigh.

In the evening, I had to rush the preschooler through his romp in the playground because the traffic was building up and the girl’s feeding time was coming up.

It was *stressful* (again!) that I even followed a few cars in creating an illegal queue because an annoying and irrelevant traffic light was causing an unnecessary jam.

The baby was crying because she was tired out from the new routine – the poor dear hardly slept at the babysitter’s. Luckily, I could adjust my driver’s seat as back as I could to coax the pacifier into her mouth.

A lady in the car next to me smiled sympathetically and allowed me to go first. I swear I was all ready to get down and fight if ANYONE dared to dilly-dally on the road!

When she got home, I quickly breastfed her but she still refused to settle down. I thought she’s still hungry and made up some formula but she rejected it. I guess she’s too tired and got ready to put her to bed – my Mum still wanted to keep her in the hall to play!

After a very fierce yelling session, she managed to put her to sleep while I fed the preschooler his dinner.

I was really lucky today because I could get home quick enough without both kids having a total meltdown. But I don’t think I’ll be lucky every day.

For now, I’ll drop off and pick up each child individually. That way, my Mum can help the little one settle down at home earlier and I can give the bigger one the attention he still needs.

I’ll need to do this for the next few months until she’s bigger and adjusts to the new routine and new babysitter. Then, I’ll bring her home earlier and she can also join in the brother’s romps in the playground 🙂

What brand of formula milk is good nowadays? I have a feeling she’s allergic to Lactogen but she doesn’t seem to like Enfalac. I wonder if I should go back to Similac which she took at the hospital?

Have you walked down the formula milk aisle in the supermarket recently? The number of brands is enough to make my head spin, not to mention the exorbitant prices!!!

12 comments… add one
  • You poor dear!! I guess the only advice I can dish out is to hang on there. There are some days where I feel like burying my head in the pillow without having to deal with ANYONE cos it’s just too overwhelming. Brad is drinking Snow because he had colic and hard stool on Enfalac.

  • * hugs *
    It will be better soon…once they get into the routine and once the baby’s bigger….meanwhile chin up! 🙂 You’re doing great!
    p/s: sorry, can’t help there about the formula milk 😛

  • hey, glad that u found a babysitter. it’s natural to get upset at the beginning when you leave her as you’re so used to being with her all this while. soon, u will love the freedom! lol.

    as for the commuting, i can so relate with the car being stationary. haye li still cries (and she was crying all the time when she was a baby) in the car some times when she’s cranky. sigh!

    hang in there yea, the kids and you will get use to the routine soon.

    cant really help with the formula. i’ll ask my sil which one she’s giving her baby as he’s kind of sensitive to some milk too. but if i’m not mistaken she mentioned` that enfa recently came out with some hypoallergenic milk. pretty expensive though.

    u tk care yea!

  • We don’t have too many choices for formulas here, only two main brands – Enfamil and Similac. My son used Similac. But after he turned one, we switched him to regular milk (not milk powder).

    *hugs* for all the things you went through. Hopefully some other days are BETTER than that one.

  • miloh Link

    Nestle Nan works for us 🙂

  • i know how u r feeling .. juggling between a preschooler and a baby is never easy but i’m sure in no time u’ll be an expert. 🙂 u take care. hmm .. i wonder .. many kids these days are lactose intolerant. i tried denisha on isomil when she was much younger and it tasted horrible .. took a bottle and that’s it .. the rests gave to the dog. we went back to wyeth gold in the end. hang in there .. she’ll be out of this phase soon. 🙂

  • I can relate to the screaming baby in the car too. Yiu Yiu was like that, and even though Yan Yan started out a really quiet baby in the car, she has started screaming too the last few weeks. But it’s good that you found a babysitter that you are comfortable with. At least alleviates your burden a little.

  • Nestle HA Nan and Enfalac HA are for allergic bb.

    Hang in there, you are doing great. The baby stage will go pass very soon.

  • yes, very stress too! i am now stress with my son not wanting to go to school every single day..

    as for the formula, i now give my kids Pediasure because my gal has weak stomach when she was younger and like her dad, maybe lactose intolerence which pediasure has one ingredient removed because of it.

  • ohh so you’re not going back to China?

  • Pinky Link

    Hi Kittycat

    I can TOTALLY relate to your predicament and exhaustion alhough now I have a housekeeper who doubles up as a nanny and she is great with the kids especially the baby. I just returned to part time work today – 4 hours and the routine which I have devised centres around the pre schooler schedule which can be exhausting. Jeremy currently goes to pre school in the afternoon and misses his afternoon naps and hence has to go to bed early. Every morning, the two kiddos get up and i have to bf one while the older kid wails for me to get him a bottle of milk . After a rest, my nanny and bathe the kids and she then makes breakfast for me and Jeremy before she settles the baby down on the playmat. After breakfast it is one to one time with the big kid – teaching him how to trace alphabets and color within the picture and also Reading the books he brings back from kindy. After that I need to bf and look after both kids while my helper cooks lunch for me and Jeremy. She then takes over the baby while I feed Jeremy and then I gobble down my lunch before making him poo and changing him into his kindy uniform. I then get ready for work cos I am doing the afternoon shift which starts at 2 and ends at 6pm. His kindy hours are from 1.45 to 5.15. By 1 pm, everyone is ready and I will send the baby and the nanny to my parents place which is on one side of town . After that I need to drop the big kid at his kindy and I need to walk him to his class. Once he has settled down, the next destination is my office. I will try to finish everything by 6pm including expressing my milk. My dad picks the big kid from school to go back to my parents place. I will go back there, bathe and feed him and pack the dinner that my mom has cooked for us and my nanny. I bf the baby first and I then bring the entire entourage home and have dinner a bath and hope to settle everyone in bed by 9pm. Each night I have to pack the baby stuff and my son clothes to bring to my parents place. Alicia is now on breatmilk in the morning and evenings and takes a mixture of formula and breastmilk in the afternoons. Yeah she has a hard time settling into a new routine as well. I give her SNOW formula cos it is not heaty compared to Wyeth which caused my son loads of rashes around the neck and mouth. I guess I dun miss her that much cos she is in safe hands and I am sure Alisa is the same as well! Besides I have to give the big kid quite a fair bit of attention due to his regressive behaviour and this itself has taken a lot of time from me which I could have spent with the baby. For some strange reason I am stil most concerned and more worried about my older child compared to the baby even though I love her to bits!

  • Paik Ling – I felt like that too at the beginning, which is why I totally appreciate the few hours of break I’m getting now. SNOW? Will check it out

    Giddy Tigress – Thanks again for the contact 🙂 The auntie and uncle are nice folks. She’s slowly adjusting to them and they to her esp her loud yells!

    Syn – OMG, I almost went half-crazy during that short commute! Now, I have a routine of picking and dropping off the girl and breastfeeding her before I speed off like Supergran to pick up the other kid.

    The girl’s on that Enfalac HA now, which costs RM80+ per 900 kg! I’m expressing every drop I can get…

    Whoisbaby – She was on Similac at first but then a new paed I brought her to suggested Enfalac HA for until she turns 5 kg. Now that she’s on Enfalac, I wonder if I should switch her back to Similac, which is about RM20 less per can.

    Miloh – Nestle Nan didn’t work for the boy and as it’s about the same price range as Enfalac, I’ll KIV this for now 🙂

    Twin – I wish I have a dog to give all this milk to! Thanks for the support, MOms of 2 seem to know that “hanging in there” is the right phrase to use for now LOL

    A Mom’s Diary – It’s really funny, right, how they just CAN’T take a stationary car? Now I’m trying to teach her the concept of traffic lights and police summons 😉

    Ya, I’m liking the babysitter because she supports giving her EBM and they are like nice, caring grandparents towards her.

    The girl will only stop crying when the auntie comes to attend to her needs. The old uncle will only chat with her when she’s all cool and calm – he says her huge, unblinking eyes freak him out! Personally, I like it that way…

    Chew Lee – Thanks for pointing that out! That’s what the HA is for “hypo-allergenic” 😛 My sleep-deprived eyes can’t catch all the details as I had to go speed shopping for the babysitter.

    Wen – Oh no, poor you. Let him watch some “school is fun” VCDs? That’s how I “psycho” the boy into it at the beginning 😉 I think he’s just scared of the new environs…give him time and ask why he doesn’t like school. Once you assure him, it should be OK.

    BabeKL – “I have no idea” is my slogan for now 😛

    Pinky – Sigh…that was my plan all along. You can’t imagine how I’ve called and asked around for a daytime helper. I’m putting the girl there the whole day to get her settled down with the new person and new place. Hope to bring her back earlier later when she’s bigger and also if I’m still in my “stay-at-home” situation.

    Thankfully, the boy is still OK but he does show signs of jealousy if I don’t spend some time with him. I can understand your concern for Jeremy – I think it’s doubly difficult for him because

    a) he’s started school and
    b) he’s got a new sibling

    Give him the love and attention he needs but I always stress that the baby has EVERY right to my attention too e.g. “Baby needs her milk now, I’ll play with you later ok?”, “I’ll come out and read to you after Baby sleeps, ok?”.

    Every night when I put him to bed, I’ll praise him for being such a good “big kor-kor” (he calls himself that, he’s not a “boy” anymore LOL). I also give him a kiss and a hug for being so helpful to Mummy etc.

    If he’s really unreasonable, I’ll yell for family back-up!

    But so far I’m really, really happy he’s such a good brother. And the girl adores him too as he’s always noisy and in motion. He’s better than any Fisher-Price toy! LOL

    We just need to watch out for his jumping around on the bed or getting a bit over-enthusiastic with his “kissing” and “shaking hands” with the baby (O_O

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